The words are coming I feel terrible
Is it typical for us to act like this
Am I just another scene
From a movie that you've seen 100 times
Cause baby you weren't the first or the last or the worst
And I've got to fill the blanks in the past with a verse
And we could sit around and cry but frankly your not worth it
Anymore

So say hello to all the boys at the top of this table that your under
Lipstick lullabies
This is sorry for the last time
And baby I understand that your making new friends
This is how you get by
The moral this time is
Girls make boys cry

On any other day I'd shoot the boy
But your simple toy
Had caused a scene like this
Leave him hanging on the walls
Just a picture in the hall
Like 100 more
Consider this as a gift as you taste him on your lips
And he's making you scream with his hands on your hips
I hope he's leaving you empty baby this is just a fix
For such a simple little whore

And your name remains the same
All that has changed is this pretty face
So pull the trigger
It never gets closer
You want to start over
But never start over

A few days ago my friends and I went to the Brevard Art Museum. We encountered the Post Secret exhibit. It was so surreal to read all of the secrets. I mean you harvest a secret inside for so long that it starts to hurt. To see that people are letting their guard down(or trying to) is simply amazing. I left the exhibit with nothing to say. I was drowning in my thoughts. It was overwhelming reading other peoples secrets and realizing that me and you are not so different. I mean their were some postcards that just made me laugh, some that made me go *ZOMG*, and some that made me start fighting the tears. One particular postcard hit me hard; it said, "I can picture us one day when were in our 80's, after our spouses have died meeting on a talk show and getting married." I read that and I was in shock, because that means that, that person is with their spouse but they have feelings for someone else. I then went to the other side and it said, "I feel bad because I love my husband, but you were the love of my life." At least that was the gist of the postcard. It took a few seconds to put the whole postcard together, completing the the secret; but what set me off and made me start balling my eyes out was the picture of Simba in the top left side of the postcard. I automatically thought of Andy. I walked away and collected myself; I couldn't bare to have anyone else see me cry. I've never told anyone else that before... I hate crying around other people and I hate other people hearing me cry. It makes me feel so weak, so fragile. Consider yourself lucky if you have, it means I've let my guard down around you. The postcard has stayed with me since then, it's like it's eating at my thoughts, devouring them one by one. After thinking about it so long and moving the thoughts around I've concluded: If something ever happened between me and Andy, say... he went away to college and mysteriously disappeared, I could totally see myself getting back together with him later on in life. He was/is my first true love. I have thought about this non stop since then. On the way home, I had Tracey stop at the post office so I could get some stamps. After experiencing the exhibit I knew it was time to unleash my secrets onto the world. I came home and pulled out my arts and crafts supplies and got to work. It was like the scene in Le Fabuleux Destin d'Amélie Poulain when Amélie took her neighbors old love letters, photo copied them, and made a new love letter that was never delivered because of a plane crash in the mountains. I got right to work. In the midst of unleashing my secrets to the world, my mom came home and asked me what I was doing. I don't lie to her that often so I told her the truth. I was giving wings to my secrets and getting them off my shoulders. I told her about "the" postcard. My mom automatically said, "Maybe it's from the future" and she laughed. Right then the postcards roots in my head got even stronger. I think about the future way too much to have not already thought about it before. I was sitting there gawking at Tracey making sure she wasn't reading my secrets, It hurt getting them out just as much as it did keeping them in. Tracey later decided to keep them by scanning them and photo shopping it so that you can't read it. I couldn't do that, I had to get mine out right away and drop it in the outgoing mailbox at the post office. I couldn't let it linger anymore. They're gone. No return address. Gone. It was definitely an emotional experience that I needed. I needed to let go and I did.

I think that postcard will stay rooted in my head for some time to come. It made me think of what was to come, what has happened, and now. It made me think of how I feel in my relationship with Andy. It makes me wonder. What's next?






she was always the one.
i'll repeat it again,
the one.
no such thing as too young.
red lights flash in a car we're kissing.
call me crazy, i've always tried to remind her.
that the future,
just a few heartbeats away
from disaster.
i'm afraid,
that i've thrown it all away.
no, at the top of our lungs.
there's no, no such thing as too young.
second chances won't leave you alone.
won't leave you alone...
well repeat it again theres no, no such thing as too young.
second chances won't leave you alone.
cause there's faith in love..
if you kiss me goodnight,
i'll know everything is alright.

1)Lose weight.
2)Get a job.
3)Save up at least 1500.
4)Finish my classes.
5)Get ready for BCC.
6)Spend quality time with Andy.
7)Go to Disney.
8)Go to Universal.
9)Go to Warped Tour.
10)Get things completely in order.
11)Star gaze with Andy.
12)Sleep overs with Becca, Clair, Tracey, and Tara.
13)Go to a party.
14)Stop drinking soda.
15)Discover 25 more bands.
16)Actually start the TSG Street team.
17)Tell people how I truly feel.
18)Go camping.
19)Go to the beach.
20)Learn a new word each day.
21)Make new friends.
22)Let go.
23)Do(something)with Andy.
24)Go to Cassadaga.
25)Keep up with my calendar.
26)Finish "Doing It" and "Prom".
27)Go to the Zoo.
28)Go to the Orlando Mall(s).
29)Go on a boat.
30)Buy new books.
31)Read some of the new books.
32)Try not to worry about the fall term.
33)Take lots of pictures.
34)Stay up to date on my school work.
35)Go to the gym more.
36)Be Bad Ashly.
37)Eat healthy.
38)Re-Organize my room.
39)Have "the" talk with Andy.
40)Find the ring.
41)Get the relationships in my life set straight.
42)Talk to my sister more.
43)Help my parents more.
44)Girls night out with Becca.
45)See TSG before they go to college.
46)Get a 3.0
47)Make a routine.
48)Watch more indie movies.
49)Try not to cry...
50)Make this summer EPIC!

Never knew I could feel like this
Like I've never seen the sky before
Want to vanish inside your kiss
Every day I love you more and more
Listen to my heart, can you hear it sings
Telling me to give you everything
Seasons may change, winter to spring
But I love you until the end of time

[Chorus:]
Come what may
Come what may
I will love you until my dying day

Suddenly the world seems such a perfect place
Suddenly it moves with such a perfect grace
Suddenly my life doesn't seem such a waste
It all revolves around you
And there's no mountain too high
No river too wide
Sing out this song and I'll be there by your side
Storm clouds may gather
And stars may collide
But I love you until the end of time

[Chorus]

Oh, come what may, come what may
I will love you, I will love you
Suddenly the world seems such a perfect place

[Chorus]

If you wanna be critical, baby you'll be critical... I can only be there for you and try and love you.

xXashbagXx: http://icanhascheezburger.com/2008/03/27/funny-pictures-it-needs-mai-kisses/
DigitalGarurumon: ill acept that offer

hehehe.

it is ok. I love it. (at the moment)